#very very fatigued...

[kurios-development-hell]

I'm like... drown in work for the classes. My apologies 😢

Placeholder title-screen teaser of the Swatchling VR game that I'm plotting to make in Unreal Engine for the course. I did this pic for the GDD's header I need to deliver tomorrow. Can't tell much about the game but that you play as Merlot de Roug, as he goes through his night shift at one of the cafeteria terraces of the Queen's Palace hotel. If it goes well, it will be my final course's project, so it's gonna be real, with any luck (if they think it's worth their resources and time). Need to make Merlot's model and one of another Swatchling from a different AU who is important for the game flow.

(and yeah, I'm smearing all of my AU on all my class assignments, so that I keep progressing its development little by little, and so that I don't lose a grip of what matters in my life)

(very fatigued from crunching through the weeks non-stop but I must press forward even if I face plant and I start to snore down an ants' nest; even if I need to skip on socializing and on drawing for myself...)

[chronicallymistreated]

People only have so much patience for those of us with chronic illnesses, chronic pain, and or mental health difficulties.

At the beginning there is so much support (or at least more support) but when they realise you're not recovering as quickly as they'd like... you get avoided, isolated, told you're exaggerating, etc. They seldom think about how those of us with chronic issues feel. How overwhelming it is to deal with everything day in and day out. There is so much anxiety, depression, grief, etc when dealing with chronic issues regardless of what they are.

If you're even more isolated because people refuse to see how much you're struggling or you're not recovering "fast enough" for the people around you just know you're not alone! There are so many of us in the same boat too

[cinnamnt]

sure south park you can make and manage calls i don’t even care anymore

[ruporas]

it's time to go, my love (ID in alt)

[dollya-robinprotector]

That one event when PC sleeps in History class and wakes up with cum on their hand. It's not the only one, but, like......

No just let me delulu okay just LET ME THINK IT'S THE HIGH CONFIDENCE ROBIN and this is the premise we need for Somnophilia Ronin okay "no one seems to notice" BUT IF YOU LOOK TO YOUR SIDE HONAY MAYBE YOU LL SEE SOMEONE IS BLUSHING JUST LET ME DREAM PLEASE SOMNO ROBIN IS REAL AND I'M SO READY FOR IT.

[ash-elizabeth-art]

Made a bunch of chronic illness-related stickers for my Redbubble!!

[eternal-sunflowers]

i don't think that people really understand how mentally fucking draining it is to live with chronic illness. like, people talk about it a lot, sure. but i feel like it is constantly kind of a shrugged off thing that people don't understand the weight off.

how exhausting it is to have your body not be able to do things, while your brain carries on as if it can.

how exhausting and painful it is to try to do things and not fully be accommodated for your needs.

how exhausting goddamn brain fog is. it gets me every day it feels like and i'm still surprised.

how exhausting and frustrating it is to be ill and to think you're having a good day, but SURPRISE, here's a flare, or a bunch of symptoms, or whatever, and now you're in pain and can't do anything. you can't make the pain stop. you just have to feel it.

how exhausting it is to know that nothing will take the pain away. that you literally just have to live with it. and that people won't get it. they won't understand that you are constantly in pain, all the time, and just have to act like you aren't.

how exhausting it is to be exhausted. the fatigue is awful. it just catches me and i can't do anything. i can't move or speak or anything. i just have to exist in it.

it's so annoying and exhausting to see my body give up and to know that i can't really do anything to stop it or cure it. it's so exhausting. it makes me want to cry constantly. i feel so tired and worn down and angry and depressed.

and yet, i have to continue on, like a normal functioning member of society. i have people look at me like an imposition. i see people talk down on chronically ill or disabled people online all the time and complain about us ruining society or taking away resources or whatever the fuck bullshit.

and it makes me feel so shitty that society perceives my only worth as my physical ability to contribute to a fucked up system.

and yet, we carry on, day after day, in hopes it will get better.

[pussysidon]

Living with a disability, especially a progressive or dynamic one is so fucking stressful. I don't know whether I'll be able to do things I can do now in a couple of years or even a couple of months. Maybe today I'm up and dancing but tomorrow I can barely leave my bed. I'm already grieving the things I know I won't be able to do in the future and it's so, so so so hard. The worst part is that there's nothing you can do but try to enjoy life right now and hope you can keep doing what you love

[sillychronically]

“you need to live. this illness is keeping you from living. you’re in the same place you were a year ago.”

i am chronically ill. my chronic illnesses do not have a cure. this is my life. i am doing the best i can. it is so profoundly unhelpful for people who claim to love me to tell me that i’m suffering bc i’m not trying hard enough or i dont want it badly enough or because i somehow want to be sick. and it makes me so miserable, bc its not that i don’t WANT to do things. i miss traveling. i miss going for runs. i miss spontaneity. but the stakes are so much higher now. if i overdo it now, i won’t just be a little tired the next day. if i overdo it now, i risk being bedridden for weeks. but people don’t see that. they just think i’m hiding away at home, as if this is something anyone would choose.

why is it too much to ask for people to just believe me?

[pipsqueaky-toy]

just a lil sign of life!

[beastwhimsy]

ponysonas throughout my life... (age 7, age 11, age 13, age 18+)

[suntamer]

Idalia.

[geometric-bs]

"Doing your best" (with chronic illness)

My doctor (bless him) straight up went "don't" when I said "I'll do my best"

Because what I think "my best" is, is completely draining myself for this One Thing and going above and beyond

I guess this goes for people w/o chronic illness as well, but "your best" shouldn't mean you end up hurting yourself in the long run. "Your best" is as much as you are willing to devote to something proportional to how much you care about it within the confines of what is healthy for you AND considering all the other stuff you have to do

Please just- holy heck we're already struggling so much please don't devote your precious energy to something that doesn't deserve it

don't do your best, do whats best for you

[ruporas]

all I wanted was to save them... (ID in alt)

[blitzwhore]

Kind of in need of a pick-me-up tonight, if anyone wants to send me some cute/fluffy headcanons 🥺

[regular-gnome]

some light body horror sketches, still alive